You are Brat's Visitor Number

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Lovey Dovey Tuesday: Should I Smile Coz U're My Friend or Should I Cry Coz That's All You Are?

A place where I once had been. A place where I would NEVER wish for anyone to be in. A place so dark I wish it didn't exist. But then again, unrequited love always is~

Last week a couple of friends commented as such:

I had to agree. Here is a different set of problem that arises between different gender friendships. There's no telling when, where or how feelings might develop in either or both of the party involved. Now, let me stress again, this is a different issue than last week's "BF/GF, Did I Lost A Bestfriend". 

If the feeling is mutual, and they managed to get the feeling across to each other, then both of them better know that they are the luckiest person on earth!

If it's not one or both of them are going to get hurt, one way of the other. There's no way around it.

I have seen friends in this exact situation. Before there was anything between them, they were best friends.

One couple, who happens to be my best friends, are engaged and getting married by the end of this year after more than 5 years dating. Yes, they fought, and quarrel, but because of their friendship engraved long before that, despite everything, they understood each other, and more importantly, they trust each other. I am wishing them the happiest journey together, forever.

Another couple who were also my personal friends got into a fight so bad with each other that their relationship and friendship ends in a mess. She cried a lot, and I bet he did too. It hurts even more because they used to be such good friends who do almost everything together. In this case, each of them expect different things from each other, and perhaps one side loved the other a bit too much and the other loved a bit too little. But did they die horrible death from the experience? No, they grew with it, and now each of them continue living their life and are happy, by their own right.

The thing is, most people are scared to thread this water. They worry, if things don't go well, they will not only lost a love, but also a friend. So what people tend to do is - suppress the feelings for as much as they can.

For me, I don't believe in suppressing feelings. Yes, I value our friendship, and yes if possible I do not wish for the friendship to end, but even if I do not tell him what I feel, I would still feel miserable. It's okay if he's single, I may be able to fix a smile and stay around him, but what happens when he found a girlfriend? Even worse, what if he's getting married?? I am positive, if I am that much in love with him, I would not be able to stick around and be his friend either way.
The way I see it. If I keep it to myself, I will ALWAYS be miserable. But if I express it, I might finally be out of the misery, or I might still get hurt, but at least, I got my answer.

So yeah, I believe in taking chances. If I never try, who knows what I'll be missing. I refuse to live my life thinking "what if I had told him.." Due to that my heart must have taken enough beating to last a life time.
But it's okay, I don't regret it. I learn things from those experiences, and I get to know early on that we do not stand a chance together. 

But, doesn't it hurt? 

What kind of question is that? Of course it does!! But once you're over and done with it, once you've known the definite answer, you can finally get on with your life. For me, that's the best freedom EVER!

Well, yeah, I might have to severe connection with him to get over the feelings for a while, but now, we are back as friends. It IS a pity that I could not be friends with him the way I used to, but really, am I missing that much? Didn't I met a lot of other friends along the way that is just, if not more, as precious as he was?
Precious friends~ (source)
I'm not saying that you should just simply jump and pop out the question, but I'm saying, that you should consider your choices. Living life being afraid of unsure things is a VERY tiring life. Somewhere along the way of my life, I have decided to not put myself last in consideration of others. Yes, at times, we must consider others, but not always.

Before we can truly love another, first we must learn to love ourselves. If we hate the person that we are when we're with someone whom we think we love. Then, there must be something wrong with the picture. Take a step back and analyze because,

"You are meant to have an amazing life!"
- Rhonda Byrne, Secret - the Power.

"You were not born to struggle. You were not born to live a life where the moments of joy are few and far between. You were not born to worry or be afraid. You were not born to suffer." 

You are born to be happy, AND YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!

Signing off, 


  1. Very meaningful and inspirational post. Thank you. :)

  2. Do you know why most guys would fall for a girl if the girl treats him too well? Simple, not much girls will ever do that for a guy they plainly regard as friend...this is true even most girls would deny what i'm saying here..there's a certain difference if ppl would pay attention to it. haha

  3. Ho ho ho.. Merry Christmas.. ooppss.. wrong comment box.. Hm, for me,still, loving myself is the most better way to learn to love somebody.. But,U'll learn to love yourself by loving somebody.. argh,forget what am I saying.. ha ha ha..

  4. @Laura. Thanks!

    @Eric, that might be true. I am one of that "not much" girls who treat guys well just because I regard them as friend. For now, no guy-friend of mine had ever professed 'love' for me yet. Lols~ I guess that's a blessing too :)

    @aki. Loving oneself is utmost important. We'll only learn to love ourselves by loving somebody who loves us the way we are. If not, we won't be able to do so.

  5. interesting post. i still believe there are best friends among guy & girl =p i have quite a few girl best friends. yes, there will be time when i am confused; maybe them too, but then the feeling is just not boyfriend/girlfriend. in-between of best friend & lover =D

  6. this is quite random but thanks for the wishes!

  7. Different ppl will have different outcomes, can't tell or do anything about it.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

'Click'aty Clackaty Cloock. Click!!