Lovey Dovey Tuesday: A Person To Keep

As you get to know someone, you will eventually learn a lot of their traits that you dislike, hate or annoys you. That's normal. But have you ever felt that even though you definitely hate those traits in that person, you never seem to be able to hate them or keep a distance from them? That, I believe is called accepting a person as they are. Come bad or wrong.

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Lets just say, you ever find this person, NEVER let them go. Despite all the things they hate about you, if a person still stay with you even though you do not bring them any apparent benefit then keep in mind that this person is someone worth for you to keep. Treat them well as they are the person who will always accept you as you are. They might be a friend, a lover, a family member. No matter who they are, always remember to appreciate them. Because they are the one who will always be there for you through thick and thin.

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But also be reminded, if you don't appreciate them, or keep mistreating them and take them for granted, eventually they will leave. And once they leave, you'll lose them forever because chances are, they'll never come back. 


Even if they are still somewhere you can reach, and somewhere you can see, you will feel it yourself, that they are just not there any more. The place where they usually stand will be a big void that feels so empty. The smile that is always warmly beaming at you will turn to a smile that is so polite, that it felt cold. 


Because we hurt the people we love the most and be hurt by the people we love the most. They had loved and accepted you the most as you are, so when they leave, it meant they had been hurt beyond any recovery. And because of that, no matter what you do after that, your relationship with that person will never return to the way it was. And so, you had lost them forever. 

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I have always tried to remember this, and now, I hope I would be able to remind some of you guys who read this, ALWAYS appreciate those you have around you. Because once you lose them, the word "if only I" would only be empty words.

How to do it? Simple. Just think, if they die tomorrow (touch wood, Nauzubillah) what would be the things you wish you had told them, and what are the things that you would wish to do for them or with them. Then, SAY IT, DO IT. Because you won't get another chance. If you wait for tomorrow, and tomorrow never come, you will regret it. I promise you, you will. I know, I had been there.

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Let's take a moment and appreciate those people who are worth for us to keep.

For my friends, family and all those people who had always stand by me through the best days and the worst days of my life, I thank you very much for being there. For those who had received the very worst from me and yet still loved me and accepted me for who I am, I'm sorry for those times I might have hurt you. And know that, from the bottom of my heart, I love you. And will always do. Thank You, for being you. :)

A small reminder to everyone from the Brat,

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When the Brat Meets Three Most Random Guys on Blogosphere~

Okay, that didn't really happen. lol. I just thought I should share this awesome little cartoon made by Aki Borneo. The faces are all Ernest's drawing but the rest is Aki's.

Lovey Dovey Tuesday: BF/GF, Did I lost a best friend?

"We all have that one guy best friend that we lose because he gets a girlfriend." - The Notebook of Love

Now, this is a dilemma that many people encountered. Although I quoted "guy friend gets gf", but really, I think it is also the same for the opposite sex. Only, I believe, this is mostly true for girls.

A girl, is generally (but not all) more sensitive, more attached to feelings than guys do. When a girl declared someone as their best friend, may it be a girl or a guy, they see them as the people that is most important to them, sometimes more than their family. Rarely (I'm not saying that it does not happen) a girl changes when they got a bf/husband. They'd still see you as their best friend, and they'd still allocate some time to spend with you, despite being busy with other things (including their partner), even though it might not be as much as it used to be.

Many a times I heard my guy friends complain about their GF being too friendly with a guy who is supposedly her best friend. They would argue things like

"Why does she have to go out/meet with him?"

"Dia asyik back up mamat tu je!"

"She listens to him too much!"

"If you have a bf, would you still be flirt-texting with another guy?"

My answer each and everytime is the same,

"That's actually quite normal"

I know, I know, it sound ridiculous and perhaps ludicrous to guys, but it's the truth. Especially if she had been friends with the guy long before she know you. I know you feel suspicious, jealous and perhaps angry, But

calm down,

Take a deep breathe,

and think. 

IF she's in love with her best friend, don't u think she would've ended up with him instead of you? "Maybe she didn't realize it?" IF she didn't realize it, after so much complaining and hassle coming from you, don't u think she would've realize it IF she loved him? IF she already realize it, then why is she still with you? OR, would you rather she's NOT with you, and with him instead?

Friendships are dynamic. It MAY and MAY NOT change. source

There's a saying, "guys and girls can never be just friends". I don't agree that it applies to all. It's amazing, - the power of mind is. If you set to think something as that, it will be, just that. If she thinks and focus on the guy as merely a friend, no matter how much she likes, adores, and love him, she would NEVER fall in love with him, and they will always be, FRIENDS. (so basically what I meant is, he has been friendzoned! <--- here I googled the word 4 you.) For her, there are no other option, except to think that. So don't you go and disturb that focus with your doubts and jealousy and made her realize, she has an option to NOT keep focusing as being friends.

And even if she IS or HAD BEEN  in love with him, just remember, SHE CHOOSE YOU! And if the fact that her being with you is NOT ENOUGH, then maybe, you're the one who's NOT in love. 

"So can women and men be friends? Of course they can. But there is a silent understanding that some friendships are meant to be nothing more, and as with all relationships, there are certain rules that need to be followed. " - Jezebel.com

But for guys, a different scenario can be seen.

Once they got a gf, most all of their time are kept occupied by their gf or their male-buddies. Most of them do not keep in contact with their girl friends anymore - not as much as they used to. Some, might even go to the extreme by severing their contact with other girl-friends all together. Now you can see why these guys gets restless when their gf don't do the same with their guy-friends. This is actually the excuse my guy friends gave for them being jealous/restless.

And when it is being pointed out, some of the gf might answer, "I didn't ASK you to do so!" If she answer you like that, then PLEASE don't jump into conclusion, she's not saying she don't love you and that you are not enough. And she's not saying she DON'T appreciate that, she's just making a point that it's ok to have friends. She's saying, she knows that best friends are important, and since she value hers, she would understand if you'd value yours, and so she wont ask you to severe all connection completely.

"Some 83 percent of the people surveyed think that cross-gender friendships can and do exist, according to a 2001 Match.com poll of more than 1,500 members. And a 2006 study by Canada's Public Health Agency of nearly 10,000 Canadian children shows that they often start early, with 65 percent of boys and 60 percent of girls declaring three or more close opposite-sex friends by grade 10." - CNN

Truth is, from the general gf's point of view, when a guy do this, it is fantastic, and sweet, and reassuring. But seeing it from the friend's point of view, it SUCKS BIG TIME. 

Like I said, girls don't tend to severe connection with friends, especially best friends. So when their guy-best friend gets a girlfriend, they dread that it would be goodbye. And even if they don't show it, or complain about it, believe me, it hurts. Even when a girl-best friend gets a bf, a girl will feel lonely and sad, like their bestfriend had been stolen by the bf. So it's basically the same with guy-bestfriends, perhaps worst - because with guy-best friend, you lose them completely.

I dunno about other girls, but for me, I'd scold my bf if he does that. I'd rather become his best-friend's best-friend. That way, we could even spend time and hang-out together, and it won't be awkward. Like wise with my guy-best friends. I'll ask them to intro their gf to me so I can assure her I'm no competition, and that I can actually be off help to her in the future (which usually is the case), and perhaps join hand in hand with her to make his life a weee-bit more happily miserable. Of course, I'll intro my best friend to my bf as well, and force them to be buddies. Or at least, to make my bf see that my best friend is someone he can trust.

Even experts agrees! - Check out the TIPS here.

I would like to call all girls and guys to TRY and be friends with your partner's opposite sex best-friend. Jangan la sombong sangat. Some girls/guys just LOVE to make it difficult for their partner by being ABSOLUTE ass. I mean, would it hurt to actually be friendly a bit and TRY to get to know the other person first? I know, it's natural to feel a bit of hostility towards them, but do try your best to keep it in you. Hold off your judgement for that person until you actually get to know them, ok?

And for the best-friends, don't hog your friends to yourself! Be understanding. You would feel the same if you are in their shoes. You too don't just assume the other is not good for your friend and keep trying to convince them that it is true. Trust your friend's instinct a bit and go and get to know their partners. You might be surprise at what common grounds you can walk on - at least you already know that your best friend is one of it. And remember, even if you don't approve of the bf/gf, DO NOT try to poison your friend - especially if they're happy. You DON'T KNOW what is happening between them, and you have NO RIGHT to meddle in. Just be there as a friend that you are and support them, and when they cry, just be the shoulder to cry on, and the ear to listen, then make them smile again :)

So how to balance your friend and lover? Here's some tips from CNN:

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Phew~ what a long post.. So, tell me, what's your take on this?

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For them

This will be a long post of a special tribute to some special friends I met this past two years. They had just finished their studies and after this, I might or might never see them again after they all embark on their own journey. Since it's written specially for them, I decided to write this post in Bahasa.

Pernah tak, korang berkenalan dengan orang yang korang rasa korang kamceng gila, tapi sebenarnya bukanlah kawan korang?

A Place I Call My Home

"Malaysia is not perfect, but with friends like you guys, it's a place I'd like to call my home.."

Have you seen the advert? It features Afdlin Shauki, Dato' David Arrumugam and Ho Yu Hang... Here's the link
http://1malaysia-proton.com/

They made the ad so simple, yet very interesting... The words are true but humorous at the same time. The caption above, is my favorite of all. It's true, if you have good friends, no matter where you are, you won't mind calling it your home. As the saying goes, "Home is where your heart is..."

I don't feel like blogging heavy stuff or discuss 'oh-so-important' matters of the world, I just want to ramble. Let my fingers glide upon the keyboard and see where this goes... Maybe I just post up a lot of pictures. I'll start with my little room...

My spot to sleep, think, online and rest... My heaven, my bed.

My favorite part of the room, the pink and purple sunflower with pink, purple and black background painted by Yours Truly and her sis.

The living room of my home. Oh home sweet home...



I guess, it's nothing much.. Just your average household. We just moved here... Finally, we are staying at our place, no more renting... And the best thing about it is that, I got the room to myself!! No more sharing, and a bigger closet for me to 'abuse' hoho...

Next, friends.. I believe that who we meet along the way determines what kind of a person we are and would be. If not all, but a little here and there, would've made a difference... If I haven't met those people I met, I may not be able to be the me that is writing this today. I might not even get into a university, I might not even be able to stay alive... Who knows? Things happens for a reason. It's up to us if we want to figure out why...

Well, I have a lot of people I call my friends... let's start with two of my best-est friends... Fitriyah and Shah

That's right, you guessed it, they're an item. Had been so for the past 3 years or so. They are my dearest friends, and I am very happy for them. These two people had been with me through the toughest time of my life. Two person who are not perfect, but perfected each other... I hope they'll be like pieces of puzzle, each completing the other...

Next is my childhood friends... Friends until this very day... Munirah, Sazwi and Intan...

We've had our share of fights, we've drifted apart due to time and space, yet they are dear to me, and will always held a special space in my heart...

Next, is the Kuronekos... We must have the most unstable relationship of friendship. Suki and Dalia... We became close friends due to circumstances, we have some common grounds and a lot of differences.

 Class photoshoot

On our Girl's night out, Eye on Malaysia, Melaka

Karaoke Evening

Bungee Jump Frenzy

The latest, and perhaps the last assignment we'll work together on...

But somehow, through gritting our teeth and shouting at each other and almost chocking each other necks, we pulled it off.. They are special beings for me. Had it not been for them, my late teenage days would be too boring... hehe

And of course, there are friends, who became friends due to common interest and common space...

My Classmates DMC6A

I entered their class a bit late. But nevertheless, it felt like I was a part of them. Yes, there were a few misunderstanding and conflicts, but we manage to pull it off.

Class photoshoot (credits to Fara Fazana)

 just because I like the picture :p

 Photoshoot for Design assignment

 Dinner Night

 Part 6 - last dinner

 

My colleagues from MST JBU

The one's that is closest to me, Fiza and Shima

The brother figure of a brother I never had, Wan

The chaotic friend, Zul

The Cool Ipoh Mali chinese part time 'sweet-heart', Ah Chris

The mother like-friend, Ah Kwan

The suddenly a little brother, Benny Oh (I became Nana Oh for a while lols!)

My colleagues from Kitschen, Tropicana City Mall

the liveliest, rules breaker I've ever met

She's all sugar and spice, Wei Sum

Mie, the rockers

Lina, nicknamed lady ga-ga

The girl with an attitude, Fareeza

The 17 year old who grew up too fast, Akash

My personal favorite, the rebellious little skater boy, Fareez

Youth Asia while interning friends

The Youth Asia team

Youth Asia with the AIESEC team

My Bosses, My Friends

Facing the endless (seemed like) hours of working become bearable with such friends. They made me think that "hey, work can be fun after all..."

As for hobby, I have my theater friends,



MMS (Campus Orientation) friends



My taekwondo friends (no pics) and my college's representative team (no pics as well :( ) I think I have never enjoyed myself more than in those times. I do what I love to do the most with people who shares the same passion as me. Although that was in the most busiest time in my life, the experience, made it worthwhile...

There are also old friendship that keeps on getting renewed... My friends back from high school,

Pa'ah and Dhiah... Once upon at my home (open house)

Delegation to my open house.. lols

The guys on the reunion night

The girls on the reunion night

Fun Picture

Me n Fadh and the waiter guy... Just because I like this pic... lols

My friends from Architecture

these are very old pictures of us, two, three years back...

the most recent one, where they graduated - without me

Needless to say, there are others who I can't put up their pictures here... I could have just say, 'and many more...' but the significance of them being in my life warrants more that just a 'and many more...' Those friends I made along the way, doesn't matter past present or future, I thank you very much, for the memories we've shared... If you don't see your picture here, that doesn't mean you're un-important, it's just that I'm too lazy to get up from my cozy seat and pull up old pictures. (hehe :p)

*****

Oh yeah, almost forgot the three most important friends in my life,

My cousins and My sister

Once a year, we pretended to be models... lols
from left, Tasya, Rinie, me, Mimi

My dearest sis, Mimi

My older cousin, K.Asya... Just like a real older sister...

I can't imagine my life without these three people. We might fight a lot (esp. with Mimi... we're blood sisters after all), we might get separated and missed out on each other a lot, at times, it is really difficult to meet... But I know that I can count on them no matter what... And they too can count on me... :)

I guess this is my home after all...

Just ramblings of a brat... with opinions of her own.
-Nana Eddy-