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Thursday, April 14, 2011

It felt like a nightmare~ one that I could NEVER wake up from.

The day was a clear day. Cloudy, with soft breeze. It looks like any other ordinary day.

Except today, was the day Irsyad's body is being burried. The last day for us to see his face.
Hari jenazah Irsyad dikebumikan - hari terakhir, kali terakhir untuk kami menatap wajahnya.

As early as 5 am, we started our journey to his home town. There were 6 cars. All of them friends who loves him dearly and wanted to see him off to his final journey.

The downcast faces of his friends

Maybe because lack of sleep or perhaps due to too much crying or perhaps it is the numbness that came with sadness, it almost like I was floating through today. 

It felt unreal, almost like a dream. As if I would suddenly wake up and realized it's just a tasteless bad dream. Seeing him in his last attire, I almost thought he'd wake up and put on his blur face then he would smile and laugh at our ridiculously sad faces. 

But he didn't.

He just lay there unmoving...


As they took him away on his last vehicle to the cemetery, all I can see is his face.

Laughingly joking
mockingly smiling
smiling stupidly
playfully teasing
bashfully angry

each and every one of the faces he wore so well played on my mind like a movie. And worst - I can't stop it. There's no pause, or stop or rewind button. It just kept on playing.

I know for sure. There will be no one else like him.
There will be no replacement for Irsyad.

When he was buried, and prayers are being read, I feel a sense of longing - one that I know would never be cured.

It felt like I am in a nightmare - one that I could NEVER wake up from.

but it's the reality and I would have to accept it - no matter what.

I asked for this bracelet of his to be kept from his mom.

It felt so heavy on my wrist

I gave it to him on his 20th birthday last year - because he was a real fanatic MU fan..

It's a cheap old thing, but he kept it with him as a key chain to his motorcycle it has been a year now, but it is still in a good condition.

Now I'm going to keep this for him - as a reminder to me of a great friend, who went his own sweet way.

Goodbye, my friend.
You'll always be here, in our hearts.

Al Fatihah~

previous posts 


  1. Innalillah..only now i got to bw to other people's blog and i am so shocked to read about this. Al-fatihah untuk Allahyarham Irsyad. be strong, is all i can say.

    its still like a dream when i know that my old friend which always like tease me when i was in 12..hurm..the time i know his fb i can feel that i can meet him again after almost 9 years lost contact..but now..everything has gone forever..

  3. really make me remember him so much... i really miss irsyad attitude... when we plays PS2.. he always want winf me... if i know it would be happen... i'll gve away him 4 winng... btw, this is the past... k.. al-fatihah 4 my friend... almarhum muhammad irsyad bin hamim...




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