Ramblings of A Chaotic Week

'BRAIN FREEZE!!' I might as well put my head in the freezer. No, not because I ate Ice or ice-cream... It's just that I felt like my brain had gone frozen, solid. I can't seem to have coherent thoughts. And I can't think straight... A lot of mumbo jumbo... It doesn't help that my heart is in chaos as well...



Well, anyways, I went to my friend's convocation. I can't help thinking, "I should've been there with them". but, things turned out differently for me. I found my calling in other area, I'm not for architecture.



Some might think I'm a loser, since I quit, but I like to think that I'm a fighter because I dare to quit when I know I had stepped on the wrong path. The new path I took, was much better for me.




Just look at those disgustingly happy faces... (Jealousy talk haha)







I am happy for them, especially to my two best-est friend, Shah and Fitriyah... Maybe next time we all gather to meet will be their wedding day? (Amiiin)

Fitriyah and Shah Fahmi

Then, we went lepak somewhere with the 'gang'. I was blown away when someone ask me, "Hey, are you ok? I heard your xbf is with you friend now..."
WHAT THE...??? That was blown WAAAY out of proportion. Sure, I was close to him for quite some time - a very short time, but who ever said he was MY boyfriend? and IF there is no boyfriend, WHERE did this x-boyfriend came from?

I had to admit, having seen him going after my sort-of close friend, does give an awful after taste... but, I'm okay with that - now. Had this happened 2 years ago, I doubt I'd still say the same thing. We weren't lovers, but we're not exactly 'just friends' either... In a more 'friendster' kind of way to say it, "it's complicated" lols...

I guess that was a day for celebration - no matter how cranky I'm feeling, I'll put up a smile for the world to see.

... and today, I felt even much more crankier... My (current) crush introduced me to his girlfriend. (Well he didn't actually introduced, but I guessed and I asked, and he admits) It was weird, because at that time, what I felt was excitement, for him. She's really cute. Fits him to a tee.. hoho. (and I told him so)... I had always been jokingly telling him - well half jokingly -that I'm actually courting him. I'm thankful that he admits having someone else as an interest and didn't keep on feeding my interest. At least, I can move on.. in other words, 'Next!!' haha...

Not until I left that I start to have this nagging feeling. Well, he's just another crush. I haven't fallen 'in love' or anything but... I felt my heart beats a bit incoherently... I guess, u can have your heart broken when what you work on fails, even when you didn't put any heart to it...

Maybe it's because my already beaten and battered heart wasn't able to heal completely yet...

Earlier this week, my dearest uncle so suddenly passed away... What kills me the most that day at the funeral, is his 11 year old son, being strong for his mom, his two elder sister and his soft-hearted older brother. He was the youngest, but he's the strongest and bravest. He cried only twice. Once when he heard the news. And again as they were closing up the corps. And even then, he wasn't wailing. He held his face expression tightly, only his tears kept flowing... Heart-breakingly slow and sad... I was able to held my tears... until I saw his pure honest tears... And as I held his oldest sister in my embrace... She was crying, and she never embraced me as tightly as that time... Again my tears are too stubborn and wouldn't listen. And so, I cried again...

His tears was so heart-breakingly pure....

Unknowingly... I was crying too.

All in all, this hasn't be a good week for me. My mending heart got torn just a bit more... Oh well, life goes on... Despite everything, believe it or not, I'm happy in my own ways. Well, perhaps not happy, but highly contented - and that itself, is happiness for me.

I might lose sometimes, but I'm not giving up. If I drop and break into pieces, I'll pick up the pieces and stand up yet again.

It's just me rambling - a brat with my very own opinion.

-Nana Eddy-

I feel so opinionated today

In other words, I'm getting pissed. All the frenzy about the canning and the severe punishment and the thing about Malaysia turning into an all Islamic is totally blown out of proportion. I am getting pissed at people who talks only using their fickle mind without even researching on the topic first. Who do they think they are? GOD? Feel like wanting to slap each of their faces.

I really don't understand WHAT IS THE PROBLEM with people and the canning case? The person involved had agreed. I repeat AGREED to the punishment. So, people who doesn't have anything to do with it SHUT UP!!

I mean, what's with the "it's too severe" or "It's inhumane" or "it's inappropriate" or "It's against human rights" CRAP? The canning is not like the canning they do in the prison. They are trying to educate and remind not to do it again, NOT KILL HER! It's just like how our fathers used to can us for being too naughty. As for other Syariah Law's punishments, it's not to be done sleezily, or as-matter-of-fact-ly with kind of attitude. It requires deep investigation, and long weighing weather the person deserves to be punished as such or not.

I did a survey that ask something like "Do you care if Malaysia turned into an Islamic country?" HELLO!! take a train check. According to the constitution, Malaysia IS AN ISLAMIC COUNTRY. What kind of question is that? Maybe, the country is not an extremely Islamic country, but to an extent, IT IS an ISLAMIC country. Get it through you head!

I don't understand why people look at Islam in such a negative way. The teachings of Islam, is just the same as any religion. Do the good and avoid the bad. Even Christians prohibits it's followers to drink alcohol and eat pork and do free sex or premarital sex. Just because other people do it, that doesn't make it the right thing to do. In Al-Quran, in Bible and in the Sutras, all say that u need to do good deed, practice chivalry, do charity and avoid doing wrong. Just because people doesn't follow it, that doesn't mean it's wrong.

There are too many people admitting themselves as Muslim but in reality they behave in a very un-Islamic way. It gets harder day by day to practice the Islamic way the right way and not seemed as extreme or wrong by the non-Muslim because of those people. It gets harder to explain these things to the Non-Muslim. Guys, PLEASE try to understand. Just because other people who seemed like us do it, that doesn't mean it is the right way, or it is ok to do it.

Let me give u a simple example. Let's say a Muslim is on a trip with their company. The trip has both Muslims and non-Muslim. They decide to have seafood at a chinese restaurant. Then, this one Muslim, refuses to eat there, saying that she'd buy it from a stall next door, and eat there with them. Other Muslims are okay with eating there.- Now, in this case, the one Muslim who refuses would seemed picky, because other Muslims are okay with it - WRONG. The thing that should be here, doesn't the other so called Muslims practice their religion? Okay, u might say, u won't order pork, so it's HALAL, but DO YOU or DO THEY (the cooks) know the real definition of HALAL? The pork eating does not apply to only pork, but also the utensils that had been in contact with the pork. Without the proper way of cleaning it, It is still non-HALAL. If they use alcohol in the cooking for the flavor, it is also non halal. You can't simply say, it's Halal because you THINK it is.

So please, people. If you don't know for sure, DON'T SAY IT AS IF YOU KNOW FOR SURE. It pisses people who knows - period! I may not be so religious as a Muslim, but still it irks me when people say what they want according to what they think, but they never really do any research on the religion. I don't put stereotype in other people's religion, I don't go around and say oh Buddhist this or oh Christians that, so please don't put stereotype, especially negative ones to my religion.

Too bad if I hurt anyone. You can rant me back if you want, but I'll be sure to give you back a piece of my mind coz, I'm a brat with an opinion :p

When you want to talk about other people's religion, please do a RESEARCH first!

http://www.forbes.com/2009/08/30/malaysia-islam-religion-opinions-contributors-sadanand-dhume.html
I happened to read this today. I agree with the author in many things he said, but there are just certain things that I can't seem to agree.. no matter how hard I tried. I agree with one of the comment given by the readers, 'do not speak of something you don't know of'.

I do agree that the way Malaysia handles its religions issues especially Islam is quite wrong. But please, do not see that as the view of what the religion really is about. The act of 40 people must not be turned into an agenda that caused prejudice to the rest thousands and millions of people who happens to share the same religion. Their act is stupid and shameful, even to me.

 

Just Looking at their STUPIDITY angers me

Every religion has their own customs, beliefs, and certain way of conduct. The religion itself is sacred - no matter if it's Buddha, Hindu, Christian or anything. The one that contaminates the religion is the human themselves. In Islam, there was not written that they should parade around boycotting and act like a gangster. There was also non written that the religion is 'inherited' as well. If the child who was born Muslim, but ends up not being a Muslim at all, then the fault lies in the upbringing and the person itself.

The act of the Muslims when confronted with an issue of 'Murtad' was actually a reaction of their dissatisfaction. According to the religion, such people who walks out of the religion and made it known openly, in one way or the other announcing it, must be killed. Of course nowadays, there won't be such a thing happening and so the people become dissatisfied since they are helpless. I'm not saying the way they handled it is perfect, but if you are in their shoes, you might act the same... or even worse. You CAN 'check out' of the religion, but you have to face the wrath of people. If you don't want to make it much of hassle then DO NOT make it into an issue. Don't tell anyone except for your closest family and friends. If you went on and include the media and the whole country over it, of course people will get mad - as in the case of Lina Joy. Stupid woman.

Why should there be such a law over leaving this religion? Syaikh ‘Abd al-Qadir Audah hafizhahullah explains,

The raison d’etre of capital punishment for apostasy is Syariah is that apostasy is repugnant to the faith of Islam on which the Islamic society is founded. If this offence is taken lightly, the collective system of Islam may collapse. The severe punishment laid down for it aims at the total elimination of apostasy on the one hand and warning and preventing others from committing it.

Obviously, capital punishment serves as a more effective deterrent than any other punishment. Whatever the factors inciting commitment of the offence, capital punishment stirs up the preventive factors in human psyche and a man refrains as often as not from committing the offence.

Most of the modern law in operation ensure security of the social system by prescribing harshest punishment for those who violate and destroy the system. The first of such punishments is death penalty. In other words, modern laws lay down the same punishment for causing disorder, safeguarding the social system as does the Islamic syariah.

Make sense doesn't it. Death punishment are always given to act that could harm the country and it's peace. In the case of Islam, it's the same. Apostasy is something that could harm, and crumble the religion. If you silently leave the religion, no one (except their close relative and friends) will give a damn about it.

I don't like the sarcasm that the author put inside his writing. I'm not denying that most of what he said are true but he should have researched about the religion first before simply putting it that way. People who are not in another people's shoe, who do not understand or know what other people does should always thread the matter of the issue cautiously - or you might get 'burned' for it.

I'm just some brat scribbling my opinion
-Nana Eddy-

Books to read:
Punishment of apostacy in Islam &

Merde-KAH?

It is the 52nd Independence anniversary for our country, and I've been asking my self, what does independence means to me? Do I appreciate the independence that our forefathers fought for, or have I been taken it for granted and bullshit the independence we have today?

Let's face it, we are those children who are spoilt by the independence we had. There's no wonder why Malaysians nowadays are so easy to cut each other throats and blaming each other, racking havoc all over the country and now, slowly but steadily giving spaces for outside power to interfere. Remember, that was what happened before, which leads to the fall of many countries to the hands of the colonies. I've watched and read about it again and again, I can't stop myself from thinking, how stupid they were for letting those outsiders to interfere. How stupid they were to doubt their own brothers, and how stupid they were to fight amongst themselves in hope to gain power and in the end, lost everything they had. No matter how many times I tried, I could never understand the reason they fought each other. Why? I'd be asking but then I look at what is happening nowadays, the same things happens again. Why oh WHY won't we learn through mistakes that were clearly written in our history? Why oh why do we fight each other and let our defenses weakens. Why oh why do we fought meaningless battles and ignores that WE are all in the same boat? Can't you see? If THIS boat sinks, all of us, and I REALLY mean ALL, each and everyone of us will drown.

We forgot what our forefathers fought for and we forgot what they sacrificed so that we could have the peace we had today. That's why, we started doubting the values we had. The agreement they made 52 years ago, seems like child's play to us now, it seems worthless and even irrelevant. We do not try to understand why they made the agreements, why each of our forefathers before us sacrifice something just so that their children, their grand childrens, their decendents may enjoy the free life that they had been denied. Yeah, history are ancient, but we forgot, without that history, there WILL BE NO US TODAY. We take things for granted just because we weren't there. For those who were there, even the ones their names were never written in any history books, they will be crying if they know that they sacrifices amounts nothing, to what we call Malaysians today.

Sometimes, it is sad seeing youths destroying themselves with their lifestyles - colonial lifestyles which are specifically designed to destroy our youths and make our defenses low. It makes us ignore that we are being colonized, like a puppet, following it's master's orders. Drugs, alcohols, porns, and even cigarettes are the 'weapons' they used, and no one cares enough to admit it. It weakens our brain cells so that they could easily manipulate us through their media. They brings their ambassadors here and they became our 'idols' our 'heroes' and we embraced them warm-heartedly with the same poisons they sent in and expect us to use, and WE foolishly partied along, never realizing we are being manipulated so that 'they' can be rich and powerful while we, are left with youths that have little or no sane mind at all. And the country is left in the hands of old men who refuses to admit that they might be gone in any seconds. Perfect.

We bullshit our leader's effort to make better, but we never brings out an alternative to what we think wrong. We went along with public shows of spite. We do meaningless marches, create a ruckus, and putting up slogans that we reject them, naming it 'peaceful gathering'. but we did not or refuse to see that there are many people that we troubled by doing that. Childrens panicked, parents are worried, the traffic jams are like torture, and not to mention how much doubt we create to ourselves and to others who are watching. We make people suspicious towards each other, we created prejudice through our claims of 'our rights'. We create false hope and let it crush, we create anger and rivalry. How does that sounds peaceful? I don't see any peacefulness, I don't even see any positive difference it makes, only really negative ones, really a lot of bad negative ones.

We say we care but in front of misery and danger, we hide into our safe cocoons. We wanted to change but when we see a pauper by the street, we snort at them. When a beggar comes to our feet we brushes them off, we kicked them away. We rarely know our neighbors, what they look like and what they do. We welcome strangers to our place but we let our brothers and sisters die in hunger and pain.

So where is it the Independence we are shouting? Why are we so ashamed to hold on to our values? Since when getting home early to be with family becomes such an uncool thing? Until when are we going to enjoy and party every night killing our brain cells again and again? Why does being conventional means being outdated? Can't it be conventional but still up to date and open minded? Can't we learn through history to not take today for granted? Do we need to feel and go through what our forefathers did before Independence to appreciate it?

I am in no place to criticize others, because I too always seems to forget. I too always get too easily swayed and I too have a lot more to learn. But, I will change. I'll try not to stereotype people, never have prejudice. All Malaysians are my brothers and sisters, my friends and my families. I DO NOT want to be a puppet for the colonies. I'll respect their cultures and will not condemn it but I REFUSE to embrace it as one of my own. I am a MALAYSIAN, and so in Malaysian ways I shall live. Even if embracing our real eastern cultures makes me look conventional and outdated, it's alright, because I am proud to be Malaysian. Maybe one day, I'll be in a place where I can happily and proudly say, I made a difference, did you?

Guys, let me stress here, we are ON THE SAME BOAT, our country is our boat. If this boat sinks, mark my words, ALL of us would drown. NONE of us would survive it unscathed.

Sorry if I hurt anyone in my writings. If it touch anyone by it, good. because it means you care. I'm a nobody, a brat to be exact. It just so happens that I'm a brat with a few of opinions of my own.

I'm just being me,
-Nana Eddy-