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Monday, December 13, 2010

Studying for Passion or Subjection?

Before I continue, let me enlighten you guys what I mean by Passion and Subjection.

Passion here, without any doubt means u are doing it because you love it. because you enjoy it. because you are enthusiastic about it.

Subjection here would mean because you have to (like your parents ask you to) or because it's your responsibility to do so.

Why I use the word "subjection" instead of just plain "responsibility" u might ask.

1st, because it is never just because of "responsibility" it is more than that. You are subjected to it. You just HAVE and MUST do it - for whatever reasons you can come out with. Responsibility is just one of it.

And 2nd, because it rhymes with "Passion" ^__^

Back to the subject. I started to think about this today when my brother announces his (very) bad result (again) to my father. So, we kind of have a little discussion on the matter and a word my dad say just stuck on my mind and I decided to make a blog post out of it. He said,

"it's not just about weather you are passionate about it or not, it is your responsibility to study"

I understand where that came from. Being a Father who needs to work 18 hours a day just to make ends meet, seeing his only son not being able to perform just breaks his heart. He do not wish the same life for his son. And I get that. (Everytime I think about how hard my dad works for us, I'd get so emotional it makes me cry a tear)

But Daddy dearest, please understand. He's just not cut out for the course he is currently taking. I've said that from the start. (he's now going on to his fourth semester). Judging from his character, I am positive he could not perform in his current course. I am not trying to undermine my brother, because I know that he had tried his best. I know what it feels like to be there. And I'm saying this as someone who experienced it first.

I was once like my brother. I took a course that I was not cut out for and I failed miserably to perform. I tried my hardest to study. In fact I studied much harder back then than I do now, but each time my results came out, I'd be disappointed. Every time seeing the result that could hardly reach a 3.0  breaks my heart so much that I'd cry. It even make me feel reluctant to continue my studies. So, I know EXACTLY how my brother is feeling right now.

But when I solidify my stand, and took a leap and changed my course, I was able to perform much much waaaaay much better than I did before. Not only was I able to get better results, I was also enjoying my studies and my student life. The CHANGE I decided to take was exactly the thing I needed. Knowing myself and where my PASSION lies is the first step I had taken.

If you have read my previous post SMART ke? you might think what I am saying today contradicts with what I was saying back then. But to me it isn't. It's one thing to fail in fulfilling your responsibility because you are barely trying, it is another when you have tried your best yet still failing.

I agree that studying is a responsibility. What you need to do and must do. But without passion, even if you succeeded in fulfilling that responsibility, it would be a hollow victory. In the end, you'd suddenly find yourself in a whole different path than you expect (and were expected) to be.

Without passion that responsibility is a subjection - you'd feel like a slave doing it. But when you have passion, fulfilling that responsibility is something you would look forward too. Even if it is a difficult path, because you are passionate about it, you'd go through it, and even if you fall into a heap of garbage, you'll come out smiling and smelling like roses. The success you achieved, is one you would be proud of.

Just like how I feel today. I smile each time I look at my results slip. If I hadn't taken that leap years ago, I would probably still frowning at my result. I would NEVER had a chance to feel proud with all the hard work I've poured into my studies. I guess it is because I am studying for my Passion and NOT just Subjection. I have a responsibility to study, to perform to be an example to my siblings as well as making my parents proud. But I'm doing it with a smile instead of frowns feeling like a warrior instead of a slave.

I wish my brother and everyone could feel the joy I have in studying. And feel proud of what you had worked so hard for like  I do now. Learning should not be something you would take as a burden, it should be a gift you'd be happy to receive.

Just a little thought from the Brat,

p/s: none of the picture belongs to me. I Google it up.

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