It felt like a nightmare~ one that I could NEVER wake up from.

The day was a clear day. Cloudy, with soft breeze. It looks like any other ordinary day.

Except today, was the day Irsyad's body is being burried. The last day for us to see his face.
Hari jenazah Irsyad dikebumikan - hari terakhir, kali terakhir untuk kami menatap wajahnya.

As early as 5 am, we started our journey to his home town. There were 6 cars. All of them friends who loves him dearly and wanted to see him off to his final journey.

The downcast faces of his friends

Maybe because lack of sleep or perhaps due to too much crying or perhaps it is the numbness that came with sadness, it almost like I was floating through today. 

It felt unreal, almost like a dream. As if I would suddenly wake up and realized it's just a tasteless bad dream. Seeing him in his last attire, I almost thought he'd wake up and put on his blur face then he would smile and laugh at our ridiculously sad faces. 

But he didn't.

He just lay there unmoving...

dead. 

As they took him away on his last vehicle to the cemetery, all I can see is his face.

Laughingly joking

mockingly smiling

smiling stupidly

playfully teasing

bashfully angry

each and every one of the faces he wore so well played on my mind like a movie. And worst - I can't stop it. There's no pause, or stop or rewind button. It just kept on playing.

I know for sure. There will be no one else like him.
There will be no replacement for Irsyad.

When he was buried, and prayers are being read, I feel a sense of longing - one that I know would never be cured.

It felt like I am in a nightmare - one that I could NEVER wake up from.

but it's the reality and I would have to accept it - no matter what.

I asked for this bracelet of his to be kept from his mom.

It felt so heavy on my wrist

I gave it to him on his 20th birthday last year - because he was a real fanatic MU fan..

It's a cheap old thing, but he kept it with him as a key chain to his motorcycle it has been a year now, but it is still in a good condition.

Now I'm going to keep this for him - as a reminder to me of a great friend, who went his own sweet way.

Goodbye, my friend.

You'll always be here, in our hearts.

Al Fatihah~

previous posts 

He who will always be in my memories and inside my heart

I don't wanna c u in ICU

He might be a tad bit annoying but...