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Sunday, April 24, 2011

Another Food Review - Nasi Lemak Kukus TTDI Jaya

I'm gonna stop being gloomy NOW!! and give this blog some new environment.

Alright, usually I don't write food reviews - unless the food is free. But, I'll make an exception for this one, since this is one of my favorite place to eat.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

A week - The last goodbye.

I know, my blog had been very gloomy this past weeks. I had been in that mood for the first three days and in and out of it after that. But, there's a limit for everything - even for mourning. Time will heal, although it might be slower than we hope. 

This post, is my last goodbye to him. Every time he crossed my mind, I'd be saying a prayer, so that he'd have an easy life There. For this one last post, I decided to compile his pictures with us. With his friends who loves him and miss him dearly, who will always keep him as a part of us. 

Goodbye, Muhammad Irsyad b. Hamin.

This time, it's forever~

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

6th Day.. Did you know?

Did u know,
Before I met you, before I even know you, I've heard your name comes up in conversations with my sis countless of times? Even before then, I was already laughing because of you. 

Did u know,
After our second meet, I was already so very fond of you? And our frequent meet did nothing but conform that fondness.

Did u know,
I was always jealous of your little bickering with my sis because of how close you guys seem? Sometimes I wish you were bickering with me instead, and that's why I tease you so much. 

Did u know,
Each time I'm meeting up with my sis, I was hoping she'd be with Mal who would also bring you along? And each time you were not there, I became disappointed.

Did u know,
I always thought going for karaoke without you is no fun? Actually going anywhere without u is no fun.

Did u know,
I am you biggest fan? I really like your voice, that's why each time I ask you to sing songs for me.

Did you know,
because you are you, I allow your friends to spin gossips about us, even when I have no romantic feelings for you?

Did you know,
I enjoy the look of bashful anger you have when your friends tease you? That's why sometimes I fueled it up more. 

Did u know,
You are one of a few guys that I trust without doubt?

Did u know,
I always ask Mal to send my regards to you even though he seldom told you so? Just to show you that I had been thinking of you.

Did u know,
you were the first friend that comes into mind when I want to find a friend?

Did u know,
You are on my top 5 person I enjoy to spend time with? I always laugh when you are around me.

Did u know,
I could never stay mad at you for long. In fact I was never really mad at you for any reason.

Did u know,
I used to find it difficult to explain our relationship. An acquaintance? A friend? My sister's friend? My sister's boyfriend's friend? A brother? Saying you are just another friend does us no justice. You were more than that. You were you.

Did u know,
I always wish you think of me as a good, close friend, the way I think of you?

Did u know,
amongst the people I know, you were the one with the most vivid and livid expressions? and that's what make me miss you so.

Did u know,
When I jokingly said I miss you, I really meant it?

Did u know,
I share with my family silly, funny little things you said and do so that they feel close to you the way I do?

Did u know,
I would've left everything I was doing if you ask me for help? I'd do everything in my power to help u because I know you would do the same for me.

Did u know.
How happy I was when you told me about that girl you really liked? It made me feel you trusted me.

Did u know, 
How disappointed I felt when you didn't? That was why I kept poking around and ask you.

Did u know,
When u told me you were close making her you girl, I was rooting for you? Because to me, u deserves to get which ever girl you want. U deserve to be happy. 

Did u know, 
When Mal told me you were admitted to the hospital, I wanted to run to your place? 

Did u know,
How I wish I did?

Did u know, 
Each time I saw u, I have so much to say, but I said nothing? At least nothing important.

Did u know,
It was the same when I visited u at the brink of your death?

Did u know,
Even when you were gone I still expect to see you with your silly expression coming from around the corner?

Did u know,
If I ever say anything harsh to u, I never meant it in a bad way?

Did u know,
I am so thankful for that day when Mal brought u along and introduced u to me?

Did u know?

I have accepted that you are gone. I don't cry each time I remember you anymore sometimes, I would even laugh and smile while reminiscing our memories. I'm writing this hoping, that somehow, this things I want you to know will reach you.

After this, I'll dedicate to you one last post. One last post to keep you forever archived in my heart. My dearest friend :)

Hope you've gone to a much better, brighter place.

5th day... Knowing you is something I'll NEVER regret

5th day.
I will always remember you
I will always miss you
I will always cherish you
I will always keep you as a part of my life 
No matter how long or how far I go
Know that a part of you
Will always be with me.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Fourth day

I know I am being really gloomy this few days. But give me some time to nurse my shock in losing a good friend. Give me this week at least, to attribute my posts for him, for Muhammad Irsyad b. Hamin. 

The fourth day since you're gone.
I have come in peace with my emotions. 
I have come to accept that you are no longer here~
I do not weep needlessly anymore.
I smile each time I reminisce some of our good times. 
But still,

I miss you.

a lot. I miss you a lot.

Each time I say a prayer for you, I wish you'd hear me.
Each time I feel like telling you something, I wish you'd hear me.

Kiranya kau mendengar ketika ini~

Lebaran senyummu
Membuatku rindu
Perasaan ku layu tanpa bicara hatimu
Jiwaku luluh tanpa suluh cahaya matamu
Kiranya kau mendengar ketika ini

Kulalui duka dalam laung ketawa
Kulalui duka dalam pasrah dan nestapa
Sungguh-sungguh aku mengharapkan
Kiranya kau mendengar ketika ini

Kau tiada mendengar tika ini, aku tahu
Pergimu bersama seruan
Laung-laungan suci
Dipayungi rintik-rintik air mata
Membasahi tanah di pusara

I want to hear you sing your favorite songs you always sang
I want to hear you sing those songs I loved to ask you to sang

But, there is no more song from you. Ever.

Tiada lagi kidungmu~

Air mata yang berderai
Siapa yang menghapuskan
Hati kering dan gersang
Siapa yang meneduhkan

Sedangkan kau yang ku sayang
Telah pergi dari ku
Dengan cinta dan harapan hidupku
Oh sayang

Tiada lagi ku dengar kidungmu
Tiada lagi derai tawamu
Hanya kesepian yang kian
Mencengkam jiwaku

Malam malam dingin membeku
Hari hari kian kelabu
Dalam doa kudus ku sebut nama mu
Cintaku... Oh sayang
Damailah kau di sana
Di sisi Tuhan yang Esa

I know it's time to let go.
I am letting go

But just a little bit...
Let me reminisce you
Just a little bit...
let me miss you
Just a little bit...
Let me remember you

For as much as I want to and like to

And as always, my prayers will be with you, my friend.

Sweet Memories~

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Three Days...

It's been three days.
Three long empty day.

I still can't except you're gone.

I know I should let you go.
Believe me, I did. I do. 

But I just can't shake this feeling.
Longing, hoping, wishing~

To laugh and cry with you
To speak with you
To joke with you
To tease you
To just see you

Hoping that I'd wake up from this long nightmare.

But it is not meant to be.

I'm okay

I told myself that over and over again
and I really want to believe it. 
I joked and laugh and tease and reminisce when I'm around people.

But when I'm in my room, alone.
My mind, my heart and my eyes betrayed me.
It started weeping.
I can't be strong when I'm alone.
I can't stop myself from thinking when I'm alone.
I can't stop the surge of tears that come over me when I'm alone.

I'm sorry

It will be better, I swear. But for now,
My only choice is to write this here. 
So that I could stop myself from crying cause I know that will make you sad.
So that I could take a deep breath and let go. 

I'm okay

or at least, I will be.
You don't have to worry about me.
Just be happy There. okay.
Be really, really REALLY happy.
My prayers will always be with you.

My dearest friend,
Muhammad Irsyad b. Hamin

In loving memory~

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Goodbye My Friend~

This is a dedication.
Not only to Irsyad who had left us.
But also to those who he left.

Post ni bukan utk Irsyad je.
Ni utk kita semua yang dia tinggalkan.

Semoga kita dapat merelakan pemergiannya...

I translated this especially for you guys.
Ni lah lebih kurang maksud lirik nye.
Yang aku besarkan tu,
ditujukan buat Irsyad.
Yang besar giler tu 
utk kita sama2 renungkan~

Yang lain-lain
peringatan buat kita, termasuklah diri aku sendiri~

Dengarlah sahabat, akan datang suatu hari,
Kau kan dapat, bisa menyatakan,
Walaupun menyakitkan atau menyeksakan,
Kau tahu kita kan bertemu semula dengan cara yang lebih indah.

Setiap yang terjadi, ada hikmahnya
Terbanglah, bagaikan bidadara yang datang dari syurga.

Selamat Tinggal sahabat ku (aku tahu kau telahpun pergi, namun terasa kau masih ada di sisi)
Ini bukan penghujungnya (Teruslah tabah sebelum kesakitan berubah menjadi ketakutan)

Syukurlah kita bertemu dan masa tidak akan  dapat mengubahnya

Kau masih muda, dengan masa depan yang cerah
Jangan membiarkan sesiapa merampasnya
Bila kau keluar ke duniasebenar, kau kan sedar
Kita kan betemu semula dengan cara yang lebih indah

Setiap yang terjadi ada hikmah nya
Ketahuilah dengan yakin, akan ada cinta untukmu,
kau kan sentiasa disayangi.

Selamat Tinggal sahabat ku (aku tahu kau telahpun pergi, namun terasa kau masih ada di sisi)
Ini bukan penghujungnya (Teruslah tabah sebelum kesakitan berybah menjadi ketakutan)

Syukurlah kita bertemu dan masa tidak akan  dapat mengubahnya

Kau tahu telah tiba masanya kita mengucapkan selamat tinggal.

Saat kita bermain bersama
Cara kita menjerit dan bertekak
Tak pernah kami bayangkan kau kan pergi dengan cara mu sendiri~

Setiap yang terjadi ada hikmah nya
Ketahuilah dengan yakin, akan ada cinta untukmu,
kau kan sentiasa disayangi.

Selamat Tinggal sahabat ku (aku tahu kau telahpun pergi, namun terasa kau masih ada di sisi)
Ini bukan penghujungnya (Teruslah tabah sebelum kesakitan berubah menjadi ketakutan)

Syukurlah kita bertemu dan masa tidak akan  dapat mengubahnya

no no no no
Masanya untuk kita ucap selamat tinggal
no no no no
Jangan lupa kau ada tempat untuk bersandar

It felt like a nightmare~ one that I could NEVER wake up from.

The day was a clear day. Cloudy, with soft breeze. It looks like any other ordinary day.

Except today, was the day Irsyad's body is being burried. The last day for us to see his face.
Hari jenazah Irsyad dikebumikan - hari terakhir, kali terakhir untuk kami menatap wajahnya.

As early as 5 am, we started our journey to his home town. There were 6 cars. All of them friends who loves him dearly and wanted to see him off to his final journey.

The downcast faces of his friends

Maybe because lack of sleep or perhaps due to too much crying or perhaps it is the numbness that came with sadness, it almost like I was floating through today. 

It felt unreal, almost like a dream. As if I would suddenly wake up and realized it's just a tasteless bad dream. Seeing him in his last attire, I almost thought he'd wake up and put on his blur face then he would smile and laugh at our ridiculously sad faces. 

But he didn't.

He just lay there unmoving...


As they took him away on his last vehicle to the cemetery, all I can see is his face.

Laughingly joking
mockingly smiling
smiling stupidly
playfully teasing
bashfully angry

each and every one of the faces he wore so well played on my mind like a movie. And worst - I can't stop it. There's no pause, or stop or rewind button. It just kept on playing.

I know for sure. There will be no one else like him.
There will be no replacement for Irsyad.

When he was buried, and prayers are being read, I feel a sense of longing - one that I know would never be cured.

It felt like I am in a nightmare - one that I could NEVER wake up from.

but it's the reality and I would have to accept it - no matter what.

I asked for this bracelet of his to be kept from his mom.

It felt so heavy on my wrist

I gave it to him on his 20th birthday last year - because he was a real fanatic MU fan..

It's a cheap old thing, but he kept it with him as a key chain to his motorcycle it has been a year now, but it is still in a good condition.

Now I'm going to keep this for him - as a reminder to me of a great friend, who went his own sweet way.

Goodbye, my friend.
You'll always be here, in our hearts.

Al Fatihah~

previous posts 

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

He who will always be in my memories and inside my heart...

As the clock ticked 2.35 p.m, my friend, my brother, my pal had breathe his last breath.

Muhammad Irsyad b. Hamin had died due to Germ Cell Tumor that he has. The cancer had spread from his lung to his heart and while he was receiving his Chemo treatment, he collapsed. The doctors had to operate him to keep him breathing but his heart decided to rebel and stopped beating for 20 mins. Those 20 mins destroyed many of his organs and ultimately caused his body to reject any medicine given to him.

Last night his brother had already informed us that he was in critical condition. He told me to get ready for the worst. And I was praying that it wouldn't be the worst.

Today, amongst more than 30 friends who loved him I was one of the two last friend who saw him alive. I was the one of the last one to stand beside him wanting to say everything but didn't say anything. I was beside his deathbed when his heart rate plummeted from 70 to 20 to 0. I was beside him when the doctor proclaimed that he was no more~

Is it a blessing that he went so easily? or
Is it a torture that he left so early?

I didn't get the chance to say I'm sorry properly,
I didn't get the chance to tell him how I am thankful to have had known him.
I didn't get the chance to tell him how much I care, love and appreciate him.

He's more than just some kid I happen to know,
He's more than just an acquaintance I made along the way,
He's more than a just another friend.
He's the one and only Irsyad -
the one who will always be in my memories and inside my heart.

He knows that right?
I'm sure he does.

From Him we came, and to Him we return.
Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat oleh Allah S.W.T

Al Fatihah~

In loving memories~ Muhammad Irsyad b. Hamin

previous posts before his demise...

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I don't wanna C U in ICU!!!!

Remember my post about my friend Irsyad a.k.a Levo Dark?

This morning at approximately 7 he was admitted into the Intensive Care Unit (ICU)

Apparently after his chemotherapy session he collapsed. After a fit of non stop coughing and inability to breathe, he fainted. He was brought into a surgery and his heart beat actually stopped for 20 whole minutes!!

I only know of it at 3 in the evening.
I dropped everything else, my class, my test and rushed to go and see him.
Needless to say I can't stop my tears from running looking at his condition.

I still can't believe this is happening.

I never thought I'd see him lying lifelessly on the bed.
I never thought I'd see him in ICU.
I never thought I'd cry for him because of this.

I don't want to~ I really don't want to~

It breaks my heart that I can't see him talking
It breaks my heart that I can't see him smiling, laughing, joking
It breaks my heart that he's not responding to anything I say or do
It breaks my heart that he's not waking up.

It breaks my heart to see his mom trying to tough it up.
It breaks my heart to see her try so hard to stay calm
It breaks my heart to see his macho guy friends break down and cry
It breaks my heart to see them to try so hard not to.

Some say, if it is meant for him to go, it is better for him to go quickly, because that way, he won't suffer as much....


He has to live!
He has to get well!
He just has to!!!

There's still a lot I want to say
There's still  a lot I want to share
There's still a lot for him to do
There's still a whole future in front of him...

So please Irsyad,

Please Wake UP
Please be well.


p/s: Dear readers, right now he desperately need your prayers. Please, pray for him, so that he'd be back as healthy as he was....

DiMENSI - lakaran kehidupan pada sudut berbeza.

Quite catchy right? It's actually our video project for broadcast journalism assignment. We were asked to create a News Magazine show for our final project.

It wasn't our forte (journalism is just a minor for us). It was so amateur-ish, There were so many mistakes, but our hearts swell with pride with what we managed to came out with. Take a look of it. and do comment what you think of it :)


p/s: No copyright infringement intended.
      No insult intended.
      This is purely for educational purpose.

Friday, April 8, 2011

He can be a tad bit Annoying BUT....

Hey guys, allow me to introduce you to Levo Dark.

His real name is Muhammad Irsyad. Don't ask me how he got that levo thingy name cuz I have no idea.

He just turned 21 on 29th March this year.

He's actually my sister's boyfriend's friend, which then becomes her friend which somehow along the way become my friend.

Due to the ENORMOUS time we spent together during this one year of knowing each other, I consider him as a very close friend, like a brother in fact.

He was the most HYPER person I know.

He's always on the go, always moving about.

He's always getting emotional and get right back hyper not long after that.

He has this ego streak that is so hard to shake

He has a damn good singing voice (but cannot really go too high)

He really LOVE food (except fish). I have no worries that any food would be wasted if he's there.

He can be a tad bit ANNOYING at times BUT.....

He is one of a few GOOD guys left

He is one hell of a good friend.

And he's one person that I had always enjoyed being in company with.


That cheerful, hyper, giddy, happy-go-lucky, annoying, good friend of mine had been sitting on hospital bed being idle for the last two weeks.

That always-on-the-move guy is coughing night and day barely able to breathe normally.

That food loving guy who would eat anything handed in front of him (yes, even left-overs) can only take porridge because it feels easier to be swallowed.

Today, he was diagnose with Germ Cell Tumor.

He would have to do a few sessions of Chemotherapy to reduce the size of the tumor. And only then will they be able to operate him and take that thing out.

He would lose his hair, he would lose his weight. But everything is OK as long as he survive.
He can ANNOY me anyway he want just as long as he survive.
He can pick fights with me everyday if he wants to as long as he survive.

So please, friend, readers, followers, or whoever you are, will you please pray along with me?

Please pray for him that he would be strong.
That he'd be able to make it through.
That he'd be back on his feet as cheerful as he had always been.
That he'd survive this challenge he's facing.
That he'd be healthy and happy always...

Muhammad Irsyad b. Hamin, my prayers are with you~




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