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Monday, June 4, 2012

Mind Blank~

Have you ever been in a situation when suddenly, your mind just went blank, zip, zap, kapush??? Just like that, our minds are completely void and we could not utter a coherence response if our life depended on it.

Well, that just happened to me just yesterday.

It was terrible coz it happen while I was performing as a guest for the SPARKS show choir concert held by Broadway Academy. When it comes to my turn to sing, I went up front and there I am, trying to, but totally unable to remember anything I was supposed to sing. I swear, all of my life, I had never had this kind of experience where I just could not think of ANYTHING. It lasted for about 10 seconds - that 10 seconds where I was suppose to sing. My mind just go "lalalalala" and that's exactly what I sang that time.

My mind would've been something like this~

According to a website I landed on while looking for the "mind blank" situation. My situation would probably goes under the "social anxiety" category - eventhough I don't remember being anxious at all, but the symptoms match. According to this, when we get very anxious the way we think changes. Our conscious mind starts to switch off and we go into more of a reactive state rather than a reflective one. Our senses heighten, our muscles tense and we enter a total state of heightened readiness. Adrenaline engulfs us and we are in the fight or flight mode, which is wonderful if you are being attacked by a pack of junkyard dogs and have to react quickly but it is not so great when it comes to issuing verbal and intelligible responses. - Well it matches my situation cause, eventhough I don't remember my lyrics, I was still coherently dancing to it.

But as I sit down and try to analyze the day, the reason for that boils down to one thing - I was trying to do too much, while under the influence of medicine - and severe headache caused by cold. I took my meds the morning of the show and I swear, I was high on cloud for the most of the day. It almost like I finished the day floating.

So If by any chance any of my fellow performers, friends, boss, colleague, audiences are reading this, I humbly apologize for my performance yesterday. No excuse for my own mistake. I'll work very hard not to make the same mistakes again.

oh yeah, I also have no idea why am I writing this as well. Ah well~ I'll try to get some pictures of the performance and share with you guys soon. Till then, take care!


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