Before going on to my topic today, I would like to reply to some comments that suggested me to "communicate" with my partner. I agree. Communication is the "key" towards any relationship. And I did try. The only problem is, I could not reach him. (His phone is un-contactable, he's not online, and I already know he don't read his emails.) So that's the reason for my little rant last week.
Anyway, following last week's post, (check it out here) one of my readers, (the awesomely funny cartoonist that is ERICLEEH) gave a good advice,
I agree it is true. One have to work for a relationship to be successful. We can't just let it be and take it for granted that things will happen for themselves. We must take some initiative as well.
But the question that popped up when I was reading the comment was, "How Much?"
How much does a person need to do in order for a relationship to work? Some might probably answer "As much as it takes"
but what if it's too much? Too much that it causes the other person to feel suffocate with it.
I mean, we might love the other person to death, and to keep the relationship alive, we kept on being the one trying. We call them to ask how they are, we text them, we care for their well being, we remember all the important dates and give them presents but in the end, it still fell through.
Then should I make it less? What if it's not enough? To avoid being a drag, a burden and to avoid annoying the other, we chain ourselves and stop ourselves from complaining too much, or asking too much and demanding too much. But then, we feel ourselves get sucked into a blackhole of loneliness and cannot seem to get out of it.
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| When I come to, all I see is emptiness and loneliness~ |
When I try, It might just be Too Much.and if I don't it might be Too Little. In the End, I still might lose it all.
In a relationship, COMMUNICATION is the utmost important expect, Communication, as we learned in school requires two-way participation. If only one side is working on it, while the other don't, then it won't make any difference. In the end, the one person who keeps trying will be left broken and battered, and walk away from the relationship with a heart full of holes.
Guys, girls, whomever you are, don't let your partner to be the only one who is trying. That is one lonely place to be stuck in. And don't strung them over when you don't love them the way they do you. Try to learn and love them back, and if you REALLY can't, then maybe, it's time for you to let them go.
I know, that you might think "since she/he wants me, she/he must work for it". But try to think, are you ok with them leaving you? and if you think "yes, it's okay" then think, are you ok with that happening to you? Cause you know, Karma's a b***h. It will come back to bite you.
Remember,
What Goes Around Will DEFINITELY Comes around. Mark my words! (yes, it's a warning)
Sincerely bratty,
p/s: none of the picture above (except the one with NY|Photos Watermark) are mine.
Ho ho ho.. how much,how long and how far we need to work?? Well,don't ask.. It's a lifetime quest.. We just follow the rule..
ReplyDeleteAgree with you,Don't let Ur partner work alone,relationship is about both people make it as one,so,be one!! Don't make it like the one is working there,the one is working this.. nice sharing..
mine,I'll post this evening,still got counselling session for two people this morning.. ha ha ha..
Actually, if one starts to think how much should he/she gives, and how much their partner should do, this relationship is basically over. It might sounds selfish, even if only one working on a relationship, he/she shouldn't request the other half to do as much as they did. They are not granted to do anything for u.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing u can do is to communicate. Doing less doesn't means the other half doesn't love u:)
ahh damn...my comment couldn't be posted..so malu kena feature here...ok let me answer back how much..
ReplyDeleteIt's easy actually. How much? Being in a relationship, you will know what your partner would love right? Doing that for your partner regardless of how you actually feel about it such as accompanying for their outing? Cook for them (actually one of the things that for sure majority would love receiving regardless of sex and age) and so on..Do a few of it and see how your partner reacts...You can drop hints on how much u sacrifice to please them and so on...if your partner did nothing back or does not react towards it..dun worry...do a couple more but dun too much and make sure it's different...if things remain...it's time to let yourself be heard and talk things over...dun feel bad just yet..this is becoz some ppl wouldn't get it unless being directly told so...it's human nature...and this is EXACTLY why people say arguments help to build a relationship...
if all that fails to change, i'll be harsh to say your partner is not willing to help out in keeping the relationship alive..the next step is totally your call...but the question is this...how many people are patient enough to wait to see the fruits of their hard work?
@aki and @kelvin. Agreed. It's a question one shouldn't be and shouldn't need to ask when they are in a relationship. But let's face it, who hasn't?
ReplyDelete@eric I know I'm not. haha. I have never been patient before. But I believe that's probably because was never really in love. I must've felt they are not worth the wait - or something like that.
And yes, I have that kind of policy. I'd say things frankly. I told him so. If I want to know something, I'll ask straight out. And I ask him to do the same. XD