Kinda weird that I suddenly pop out such topic huh? Yeah I felt weird too - so it's just perfect for my weird self. lols.
Anyway, what prompted me to write this was a question from a good guy-friend of mine. You see, he's not exactly a ladies man (well I wouldn't classify him as one) but he often finds himself in a situation where girls just couldn't help but fall for him. It's not a bad thing, really. But when you don't want that to happen, it is just kinda irritating and a bit of a nuisance.
He told me that some of his friend told him that the way he treated girls are just a little bit "too much". He's a little too attentive, a little too helpful and well, u get the picture. So he asked me, "How do I not be that?" He says how can he not help when a friend asks for it? What he says makes total sense to me at that time, and I couldn't give him any helpful answer then since I don't really know how exactly he treat girls. But now, after getting to know him a bit more, and some other guys I was lucky (or unlucky) enough to cross path with, I can finally tell him and the rest of you guys "How to NOT make unwanted girls fall for you"
1st - DO NOT stare
do not stare, do not gaze, do not look at her intently. Girls always know when there's a guy looking at her, even without her looking. So when you are staring at her, trust me, she'll know. And she will think that you might be AT LEAST a weee bit interested in her.
2nd - DO NOT compliment her
don't tell her she looks pretty, don't say she's cute or something she did is cute, don't say she's sweet, or great or wonderful. Just don't praise her. When you do, it makes her feel special, and that gives an impression that you see her as special.
3rd - DO NOT notice the little things
Little things such as, new haircut, new dress, new shoes, new hair pin or new perfume DON'T EVER mention them even when you notice it. For a girl, if you notice the little things, means you are looking, means you care..
4th - DO NOT look interested
Don't put on a face that looks like you are interested in what she was saying. When you seemed like you are listening to her, she'll keep on talking, and when you keep on listening, she'll start to think that you care.
5th - DO NOT sacrifice your plans for her
If you already have a prearranged plan, don't cancel it for her. Tell her up front that you had already have something else planned and that you couldn't make it.
6th - DO NOT share personal stories or secret
Try to keep conversations on a surface level. Don't share your secret or personal details with her. and especially, DO NOT confide your problems to her. The moment you do, she'll be either annoyed or hooked. If she's interested in you, she'll be hooked. If she's not, she'll be annoyed. Wanna try and take the risk?
7th - DO NOT listen to her too much
Don't listen to her telling you how good or bad her day was, don't listen to her talking about her problems, don't listen to her talking about her boy problems. Seriously, she has girl-friends for that. If she search you instead, what do you think it is for? MAYBE she just wants a guy's insight, so, you can sometimes listen to her. But not always, NEVER always.
8th - DO NOT be too much of a gentleman.
Don't hold the door for her, don't carry everything for her, don't pick food for her, don't pay for her food, don't pick her up unless u REALLY have to. Just don't do it. We're in 2011 and going forward now, girls can do all that by herself, and as a friend, no one would care if you don't do that for her. However, when you do, it will look special.
9th - DO NOT remember too much
Don't remember every other special day, don't remember the little things she said or did, don't remember what she wore don't remember where you met and what you talked about and if you can't help it, then DON'T mention it to her. Keep it to yourself.
10th - DO NOT show off too much.
If you got talent, like playing guitar or other musical instruments, or if you're good at soccer, or if you can do tripple somersoult or air flare, try not to show it off PERSONALLY just for her. Girls tend to fall for guys with skills. Seriously, it is kinda hard to resist. hehe
11th - DO NOT use fond nicknames
Dear, sweetie, sayang, darling, love, honey and the like are strict NO-NO. Eventhough you meant nothing or you think it meant nothing, just don't use it to address her. PLEASE. I dunno how many girls I've known who got tripped by these words. I almost wished it didn't exist (almost, okay!!)
12th - DO NOT go through too much trouble.
It's okay if you go through trouble for a friend once in a while, but make it LESS THAN OFTEN. If it's too much trouble, sometimes, you just got to learn to turn her down. Girls tend to see guys who go through trouble for her as a sure sign of attraction. So BE CAREFUL.
13th - DO NOT give or share with her anything
Key chain, momentos, birthday present, congrats present, thank you present. In special events, words will be enough. Do NOT share your food, your drinks, your things, if you don't really have too. If you are trying to save or on a diet, make sure she realize the fact.
14th - DO NOT joke about relationship
Don't even in jokes mention things like having her as gf, or saying she's special girl to u, or anything that sounds like you are willing to have a relationship with her. Seriously, if you are not at all interested, it is like you are signing off your death penalty yourselves. At some point or another, it would cross her mind that you are giving her a hint. So guys, don't joke about it, please.
15th - DO NOT care too much
Is she ok? Is she sick? Is she sad? Why does she look so down? Have she eaten? Does she need a drink? Try not to bother yourself with those questions. Try to be less attentive, try to not care too much about her well being. Believe me, it's easier.
16th - DO NOT always picking fights.
What's wrong with fights? It's a classic telltale that a guy likes you when they purposely constantly pick fights with you. Now, I know this isn't true, that it is just another myth that romance novel and comics conjure up (I have friends who pick fights because they genuinely can't stand the girl). But not all girls know this. Or even if they already suspected it, their friends who don't know the situation might persuade them differently. So try to avoid picking fights. Indifference is a MUCH better choice.
Okay, my brain is about to burst from too much thinking. I have squeezed out 16 NOT TO DOs for you guys. These are my suggestions. You better not do this things unless you are consciously flirting with a girl.
If you notice, the DO NOT can easily be DO if you want to try to woo a girl. And it can also indicate if you are attracted to a girl at some level. If you are doing these things for a particular girl eventhough you didn't plan on flirting with her, try to think again the reasons. You might have actually fallen for her and didn't realize it!!!
BUT if you are treating most girls this way, PLEASE try to stop. It will be headache for your girl, AND you would leave a lot of broken hearts who curse you endlessly along the way.
It might look harmless, but it is the start of a disaster.
Brat signing off,
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